Day 25: Aren't Winter Days Supposed to be Short?

Hopefully I actually post this today.

"Sam, it's Summer." Yes, though in Costa Rica, there are two seasons: Hot and Rainy. Right now is the rainy season. Hot is during our Winter, because Costa Rica is close to the southern hemisphere.

I miss drinking soda. Sugar, Caffeine...Easy comfort and energy whenever I wanted. Oh well.

Woke up today (strong start) at 7:20, got ready, decided making lunch was for suckers, so I didn't.

Katie was still under the weather, so she stayed home. We loaded everything up and walked to the CDI. First crew was fun; high energy, very squirmy. We served the bean and cheese tortillas, and they were still into it. I got to work with the pre-school kids today, so we did crafts and then play-dough. I think I have a picture of a cute rabbit craft that had been smeared with play-dough. It's some kind of metaphor, idk what for. By the time we walked them to school, I was pretty solidly dead. The walk helped. And it's a mercy that the littler kids happen before the bigger kids.

Second session was also good; we did the stuff, ya know? Matthew's English lesson was the same as Monday, so the three kids that were there yesterday sat with me to practice English rather than learn it. They did not do a very good job. They were not in the mood for it, so it was like pulling teeth. You can tell they are a product of systematic language education, because they would repeat what I wanted, but never absorbed it or remembered it for more than 5 seconds. I'm also learning that I am not very creative or good at teaching kids. I can bond with them and be kind and patient, but Matthew has a gifting and skill that I do not. Thank God for teams. For the homework time, I had the kids who didn't have homework, so we did subtraction flashcards...but the kids had to say the numbers in English. They did well, though they struggled to focus.

Isabella joined us today. We've only seen her in passing so far this year. She's nodded at us as we've walked past, but hasn't been at the CDI. I was beginning to get worried about her, tbh. I think she came today because her birthday is this week. I'm curious to see if, like often happens with homegroup, seeing again how loved she is will encourage her to come back. 

After the second session, Lagos and I walked to the Movistar store, to talk to them about my phone money all disappearing. They said they couldn't see it, but if I had a bank statement, they'd figure it out. So, try again tomorrow, I guess. It's a lot of time wasted to fix a problem. I think a lot of businesses count on my unwillingness to waste time to get away with taking small-to-medium amounts of money from me. It's a solid model. 

I'm eating cookies right now. I'm still getting a lot of sugar, I think, just less liquidy. 

We walked home, planned dinner (Lagos, Ana Raquel, y Tony were coming over), ordered tacos, I caught a 16-minute nap.

Everyone came over and the food showed up. Tony is a very interesting guy. He is Haitian and has traveled extensively. He speaks French and Spanish, and some other languages. He's still learning English. There was some good dinner conversation, but, since it was in Spanish and we were all tired, it lagged a lot. Tony said several times, "this is a pretty quiet group, why don't you talk more?" To be fair, he had done most of the talking (we were asking questions though, but it started to feel like an interview). We ate and talked and talked and talked. Then Matthew made Tony some yerba mate and we talked some more. We sang some too, once it came out that he was into music. Lagos invited him to Sunday morning futbol, and later we invited him to church. We talked about God some, but I was awkward about it and it wasn't very smooth. 

Oh well. Everyone left, and we talked for a minute as a team. Matthew, Izzy, and I are going to walk to a park at 10 tomorrow for worship, so I'll need to get up around 9 to go run. I already feel tired for tomorrow, and I think tomorrow will go late. 

I really need to work more on my teaching. I don't know if I will have enough time. I feel afraid of public speaking because I think I value expressing myself well. I know there are good things in my brain to share, but I don't always know how to share them. A lot of the fear is based in wanting people to think about me a certain way. It's why acting was always so much less scary; it wasn't me people were seeing. There's a vulnerability and life metaphor there. But, in Spanish? Heck. I know it will be fine, I know I get a lot of grace as a gringo, I know no one really cares all that much how I sound, or even what I share. If it's fairly positive and mostly biblical, people will tell me I did great and say thank you and move on. But it has potential to be more. God could move, you know? But I feel pre-emptively disappointed in how I will do. I feel pre-resigned (presigned?) to doing ok and that being ok. No one expects more. And I don't like any of it.

Well, that tasted like vulnerability. Or at least transparency. 

I got to talk a little bit to Alexis tonight. Distance is still hard, and draw out insecurities, I think.

ok, I want to be asleep. 6/6 for the Wordle today, rip me. 

PRAYER

-for me to walk in step with the Spirit
-for my teaching, please
-for good team dynamics
-for Katie to get unsick
-for H@ngout and our movie night with Añoranzas tomorrow
-for the CDI kids to be safe and experience God's love
-for blessings for the church here; especially Lagos and Ana Raquel

The green playdough really changes the vibe;
the eyes go from cute to traumatized.