Day 3: Figuring it Out

Not drinking soda isn't my favorite thing. It's good for me; I feel mentally clearer and less greasy than usual. Here's the thing about addictions or any "solution behaviors" though: people turn to them because they are providing something or accomplishing something. For me, the copious amounts of Coke and Dr. Pepper I consume are both emotionally soothing and socially energizing. So, today it was hard for me to be as engaged as I'd like to be socially and I felt negative things more sharply emotionally.

"Aight bro, strong start there."

Anyway, today was a good day. We woke up to the dueña of our casita showing up to the house with some guys who were there to inspect (and then later fix) the roof of our drying room. Apparently the recent rains and winds did some damage to all the houses in our area. The conversation with the lady was really interesting. Paradigms show in conversations, and hers was very tica. She told us that she had a lady who would come to [take out the trash?] [clean a little?] [check something?] (I wasn't sure, my brain was still waking up), she told us that the lady was Nicaraguan, but that she was good and wouldn't rob us or touch anything she wasn't supposed to. That led to me spending some time thinking about racism and immigration and nationalism and stuff.

It was too early in the morning for cultural analysis, so I went for a run. Running and I are in an interesting place. I've been ignoring and avoiding running for a while, so it's awkward when I put in the effort. And there's part of me that thinks, "why is this difficult? I'm trying." But it doesn't undo the past 5 years, so. All that to say, I didn't run very far or very fast, but it felt good to run. 

Came back, showered, had an apple for breakfast (@Alexis, I hear they're good sources of energy). I read some Isaiah. God's still made at Israel, but he's protective of her at the same time. It's comforting (sorta). 

We made a quick trip to the supermercado to get SIM cards (finally), but the phone people weren't there yet for the day. So....we didn't.

Our team walked to the CDI and saw Georgen and Reychiel (did I spell that right?). It's been a while, but I felt some of my disengagement in how I greeted them. I hope they didn't feel like I wasn't excited to see them. 

Lagos (in what I think was a thoughtful effort to have me away from the team for a minute), asked me to come run errands with him. We went to a ferreteria to get copies made of some CDI keys. We went to the supermercado to get some bananas and stuff. We actually got SIM cards! Well, we got two. I thought we needed more, but felt insecure about disagreeing with Lagos today, so I figured if the two phones in question didn't work already, we'd get more later. 

He and I got back to the CDI, but our new keys didn't work, so we took one of the locks and went back to the ferreteria. Turns out the keys were ok, they were just new and the locks were old, so we got some graphite to add into the locks and they worked fine (mostly). 

We got back with a little bit of time still to hang out with the kids (probably best to check Katie or Izzy's vlog/blog to see what happened with the kids. I wasn't there, so I don't actually know!), so with the time left, I worked multiplication tables with Iker and then played Go Fish (Vete a pescar) with Natasha and Hillary. I lost once, won once, and tied a few times. 

Our team getting stuff ready at the CDI

After the CDI, we got dinner together as a team, which was fun. We have some weird conversations. Tesla is a human jukebox, and we're hearing some weird songs. It may all end up as a playlist, we'll see. We ate at a Pizza Hut near the CDI and then walked back home. Matthew and Katie have been navigating us around really well. 

We talked plans for the rest of the week, we set up our phones, Tesla and Cassidy worked on a devotional for the kids for tomorrow. 

I got to video chat with Alexis tonight, which was really, really nice. We tried over Discord, but it didn't work, so we switched to Zoom, which worked well. Not being in the same place doesn't feel ideal, but it's nice to get to hear about each other's day and pray for each other! I felt very encouraged by getting to see her.

I felt pretty thoroughly insecure today. Aunque yo se las razones para la separacion, siento desconectado de mi equipo. Las veces cuando yo estaba en el otro carro o he estado haciendo otras cosas y no estaba con el equipo me hacen sentir seperado, asi como soy algo extra, como no soy parte del equipo. But, I know it's not true. I've had really good moments with each of our team members. I can feel my leadership style and my sense of my role in Costa Rica being stretched already. We have 3 different teams: 6 members now, 7 later, and 4 for most of the trip - I am curious to feel how each team operates differently. I guess I'm not sure where I fit or how to lead well, but it's like day 3 out of 70, so it may be silly to expect it to feel some kind of way. 

Ok, here's some prayer requests:

-for our team to walk in step with the Spirit
-for our 6-person team to make the most of the next 6 days
-for our team dynamic to be healthy
-for me to navigate insecurity and my heart well
-for good communication in every direction communication can go

The Lord is my:
Strength
Song
Salvation